Twilight Harry Potter Spoof
by Monkeycat3181
Summary: Cedric/Edward comes back to hogwarts to finish up his last year at hogwarts. he sees his old friend harry there and Cedric/edward gets a crush.


**Twilight harry potter spoof**

**Ron and harry: *sing* we defeated voldmort yeah! *give each other high fives***

**Hermione: wait but we missed our last year of Hogwarts how are we ever going to be successful wizards now?**

**Ron: we defeated voldmort! I think that's enough success.**

**Hermione: and how are you gana get a job with that?**

**Ron: like this, hello my name is ron, ron weasley yes I am the same ron weasley who helped harry potter deafeat voldmort pluse I killed the necklace holcruxe. Sha bang! Eat that Hermione!**

**Harry: ron I think Hermione`s right we need to finish our last year of Hogwarts.**

**Ron: ughhh**

***Hermione smiles***

**Meanwhile**

**Edward/cedric: bella now that were married have our own house, a demoned vampire child and have made peace with the enmie theres something I have to do.**

**Bella: what Edward?**

**Edward/cedric: I have to finish my last year at Hogwarts. * he says very seriously***

**Bella: ok eddy waddy I`ll be waiting here in the same spot till you get back.**

**Edward/cedric: my name is not Edward its cedric, ceric diggery! *runs to Hogwarts***

***at Hogwarts in the headmasters office***

**Edward/cedric: professor Dumbledore! Professore…..god damn I cant breathe! To mutch runing *takes deep breaths***

**McGunagall: I`m sorry young man but professore Dumbledore no longer is head master, he died two years ago.**

**Edward/cedric: he died? But he was so young!**

**McGonagall: professore Dumbledore was 102.**

**Edward/cedric: my dad is 420.**

**Mcgungall: my godness bless his soul.**

**Edward/cedric: ha ha his soul cant be blessed he is a vampire.**

**Mcgungall: so is ur mother a wizard?**

**Edward/cedric: no a vampire but before I became a vampire I came from a wizarding family and I was a wizard too. you might remember me I went to school here and I was in the tri wizard cup 3 years ago.**

**Mcgungull: your not harry potter are you?**

**Cedric/ Edward: no.**

**Mcgungull: thank god I would have had to slap you across the face for going from sweet looking harry to ummm…..this.**

**Cedric/ Edward: hey I think I look better now than I did when I was cedric diggery!**

**Mcgungull: cedric diggery! *she goes around the table and gives him a hug* we all thought you were dead.**

**Cedric/ Edward: well I kinda am. see voldmort gave me influaza then I randomly was sent to a hospital in forks where this nice man turned me into a vampire then his wife gave me a make over.**

**Mcgalgull: well its great to see you again cedric. I`ll get ur scudel to you in a few mintues.**

**Cedric/Edward: ok**

***a few mintues later***

**Mcgungull: hes ur schule cedric have a nice last year at Hogwarts and try not to die.**

**Cedric/Edward: will do professore.**

***walks out of office and bumps into harry, Hermione and ron who were walking into the office***

***they both stare at each other***

**Harry: *to Hermione* wasn't that cedric diggery?**

**Hermione: I`m not sure I don't remember cedric dressing so..….so…..HOT!**

**Ron: fuck you Hermione! We are over!**

***hulijuju chours***

**Harry: *to McGonagall* was that cedric diggery?**

**Mcgungull: yes it was**

**Ron: how did he survie?**

**Mcgungull: long…werid story but all that matters is hes alive.**

**Harry: so where regester for our last year?**

**McGunagall: here.**

**Hermione: you don't have secertarys?**

**Mcgungull: nope.**

**Meanwhile**

**Edward/cedric: *on phone* hey bella ummm I just wanted to tell u I`m at school and I`m ok I saw one of my old friends. yeah tell renemees I still think her name should have been Volvo.**

***next day at breakfast***

***Edward/cedric sits next to harry***

**Edward/cedric: hey did you sleep ok last night?**

**Harry: uhhh yeah? Why?**

**Edward/Cedric: well I was watching you sleep cause I no longer sleep, cause I`m a vampire now so I watch other people sleep instead. **

***harry has a creeped on look on his face.* **

**Edward/Cedric: anyways all night you were tossing and turning screaming noooooooooooo why the hell would he make 500 holcruxes!**

**Ron: *laughs***

**Harry: fuck you ron!**

**Cedric/Edward: but you did seem to calm down when you suddenly started making moaning nosies and saying yeah ginny do it harder.**

**Ron: what the hell dude you have sex dreams about my little sister!**

**Harry: you said it was ok if we dated!**

**Ron: yeah but I didn't say you could have prevert sex dreams about her! that's my sister you jack ass!**

***Ron throws a stack of pancakes at harry***

**Harry: I hate you so much right now cedric.**

***new scene***

**Hermione: harry you have to see this!**

***they walk to a door* **

**Hermione: what I`m about to show you might scare you and disturb you. *she opens the door* **

***Hermione and harry look in they see Edward/ cedric singing in the mirror***

**Edward/cedrtic: *singing to the tune of you belong with me by taylor swift* Harry`s on the phone with his girlfriend, shes ugly! I`m so mutch prettier just like it otto be. Harry she doesn't get you like I do! I`m in your bed room just watching you sleep, you look so pretty so I kiss you on the cheek. I get a little horny so I rape you in your sleep. If you can see that i`m the one who really loves you been here since firday. So why cant you say cedric you belong with me. You belong with me *talking to himself* yeah that was good. *now singing to the tune of are your love is my drug by kesha* what you got boy is hard to find. I can not get you off my mind. Cause harry harry harry is my love! Harry harry harry! Harry! Is my love! Wount listen to any advice, dads telling me I should think twice. But already told bella i`m leaving her and renesmee for a hunky wizard hero! What you got boy is hard to find. I need you in my life again. Cause harry harry harry is my love! Harry harry harry! Harry! Is my love!**

**Harry: duh fuck!**

**Cedric/Edward: *still singing to the tune of your love is my drug* I don't care what people say! You are worth the price I pay I get so high when I fuck u! * yelling*harry be mine! *opens his closet and in there you see a clay model of harry and posters all over and no clothes in the closet at all.***

***harry walks in sees that whole closet thing then walks out exterly creeped out***

***next scene***

***on the qutich field***

**Edward/Cedric: harry I have to tell you something.**

**Harry: uhhh what?**

**Edward/cedric: I love you and I want to be with you forever and I don't care about my vamp family anymore cause ur like a drug to me. ur like my own personal brand of herion and I`m the loin and ur the lamb and were gana find away to have kids even though where both guys.**

***Harrys face goes like :O only more shocked and creeped out***

**Harry: I gatta go**

***harry runs away***

**Edward/cedric: so does that mean I can call u?**

**THE END**


End file.
